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GOLDEN PRINCIPLES FOR THE NURTURING OF CHILDREN

With the Taufeeq of Allah and the Barakah of my Murshid-e-Paak a few points are being mentioned in this meeting with a view to exchanging some thoughts.

The very first point that needs emphasis is the fact that this meeting is a Deeni one. Untold gratitude is due to Allah Ta`ala by whose limitless favour this is this servant’s fourth trip and the third occasion of sitting at your feet. It is indeed an immense favour on your behalf that people of your caliber have set a side time to come to the house of Allah Ta`ala and afford this unworthy servant the opportunity to sit at your feet. This unworthy servant, from time to time presents himself with the object of self reformation. After the demise of Hakeem ul Ummat Thanwi (rahmatullahi alai), his beloved Khalifa Hadhrat Khwaajah Aziz ul Hasan Ghauri Majzoob (rahmatullahi alai) travelled incessantly. He betook himself from place to place to meet those who were connected to, those who loved his Shaykh. From village to village, from town to town and city to city did he travel to this end. He remained alive for just an additional year after his Shaykh. His final journey was to Amritsir for the purpose of visiting Hadhrat Mufti Muhammad Hasan Amritsari (rahmatullahi alai). While there, he developed an intense fever and returned home. Hadhrat Mufti Sahib (rahmatullahi alai) sent his nephew Moulana Irfaan along who accompanied Hadhrat Khwaajah Sahib (rahmatullahi alai) to his home. This has always been the hue of the special servants of Allah.

My Hadhrat mentioned in one Majlis, in fact during one meeting that it has remained practice of the Mashaaikh-e-Chist to betake themselves to the Taalibaan, to the seekers of Allah. As such this is also a mutual meeting and there is no special addresses taking place. In fact it is the cry of a mendicant of Jalalabad. He will call out, he will cry out to you and thereafter depart. Therefore give ear to the cry of this mendicant. Lectures are delivered by lecturers while mendicants cry out in the wilderness of their souls. Insha-Allah, these cries will not go in vain.

What should the intention and objective of presenting oneself in Deeni gatherings be? One's betterment and reformation. It is with this intention that we should come forward and present ourselves. We will listen attentively to what is being said and evaluate ourselves on that basis. Whatever shortcomings, whatever imperfections, whatever faults, whatever deficiencies we find within ourselves we will immediately eradicate because in comparison to action, inaction is far easier. What has to be done in inaction, in not doing something? Nothing at all. Yes! With reference to action, one has to do something while with reference to inaction, one has to do absolutely nothing.

My beloved brothers in Islaam! This is a simple and straightforward matter. It is a straightforward and simply true matter which I have heard from my beloved Murshid. An additional point has been inspired within the heart by Allah Ta`ala, that Zaat-e-Baari Ta`ala has granted each individual within mankind a single tongue and two ears. On this the advice of my Hadhrat comes to mind, that the Shaykh should be the embodiment of speech, he should be the tongue while the Mureed should be the embodiment of listening, he should be all ears. Now consider, do we have a single ear or a pair? We have two ears with which to hear and a single tongue with which to speak. If I prove it to be four, what prize will you give me? It is substantiated by the Hadith that every human being has also been given a pair of ears in the heart by Allah Ta`ala. Thus we have two ears on the head and another two in the heart. Yet we have but a single tongue! My Hadhrat used to say, "The Shaykh be such who has the ability to discuss a host of topics and is adept at, who is an expert in the science, in the field. Very fortunate are those who are able to stay with him, who have established a relationship with him." During his last days he used to say, "O Ulema and students of Deen there will always be a need for an experienced old man like me. You will always remember me afterwards." Masha-Allah! Deeni Majaalis continue taking place here. Neither is there a shortage of lectures nor of Majaalis. We bessech Allah Ta`ala to alleviate the shortage of true seeking from within us.

A severe shortage there is of questing O Zauq! The questing is imperfect!
Otherwise, he who does not ask You of You is no seeker, no beggar at all.

Therefore O beloved brothers, do not attend any Majlis in order to observe features, the style, the presentation of the speaker. I have already mentioned this point here that at times one will listen to what is being said and by the blessing of repeatedly listening to the same points, by listening with Ikhlaas, with sincerity it will sink in after which acting upon it will follow. The factor that is essential is Istihdhaar, presence of mind, to ponder deeply. This capacity to pondering should be kept and cared for like one’s wealth for this pondering, this presence of mind, this obsession to attain is the ultimate, the true treasure. Yes! This is the essential treasure.

Therefore, remember that Allah Ta`ala has granted us a single tongue but four ears. Listen attentively with the ears of the heart. If you are listening with the upper ears, the ears of the head, his too is worthy of a thousandfold gratitude. In Arabic there is no numeral above a thousand which the Ulema are well aware of. Thus this is worthy of a thousandfold gratitude. In Urdu we say Sad Shukr, a hundredfold gratitude. Why then not use the ultimate numeral available to express gratitude on being granted the opportunity to listen with the physical ears along with the ears of the heart and thereafter allow it to sink into its recesses? Brothers! Our talk is varied. It revolves from subject to subject but is all interconnected to the acquisition of Ta`alluq-ma-Allah, the acquisition of a enduring connection with Allah Ta`ala immaterial how it be attained.

My Hadhrat once said, since, from the time of my youth this close contact has been established. It is a connection like that which one has with one’s own home. Having lived in that home like a natural son, all the children of our household too, used to address him as Abbajee. This is the habit that has been formed. As per habit it is this very word that issues from the tongue. So, Hadhrat Abbajee (rahmatullahi alai) said, "It is generally said by people that it is taken in the one ear and out of the other. Is this a case of intelligence? To listen with the one ear take it to the top of the brain and remove it from the other side." Allah forgive, discussion on Razaail, on destructive vices will take place later.

He used to say with great pain and sorrow that the destructive sin of backbiting which is even worse than Zina, than adultery is found even in the Khawaas, the special people let alone the Awaam, the general man in the street. He mentioned that even if it be the Majlis of the Shaykh and some point of backbiting occurs, one should get up immediately and move away. He used to furnish an example of his Shaykh Hadhrat Thanwi (rahmatullahi alai) who used to say, "If one is walking through a gentle and fine drizzle which is falling when suddenly a freak storm strikes and it thunders down severely letting loose a hail of icy stones in the process, will one not flee as hastily as possible from there? Similarly, if discussions on aspects of knowledge are unfolding with great beauty in the presence of the Shaykh when backbiting begins, then even though he be a Shaykh, one should immediately relocate oneself away from this sin, from this disobedience of Allah Ta`ala. Leave the rest to the Shaykh and his Majlis. Remember he is after all a human being and not one among the prophets who is sinless. This is a shortcoming that has overtaken him on the basis of human frailty but one should not ponder along the lines that backbiting is taking place but where can I now go to, what can I do, how can I save myself? One should immediately save oneself and depart from there. The Khassaan-e-Khuda, the special servants of Allah Ta`ala have taken great precautions to save themselves from discussing that which is non objective that is other than Allah. Let alone discussing that which is alien they even avoid discussing that which is good.

There was a Buzrug who never discussed anybody. Some people asked why he remains totally silent? He replied, "What can I do? While discussing the good in someone such a thorn pierces whereby backbiting inevitably occurs. Therefore I save myself from all forms of discussions, all forms of speech." Consider to what extent the Ahl-Allah endeavour to safeguard themselves from sin. Thus, on should present oneself in Deeni Majaalis with the intention of self reformation and not to determine the shape and form, the manner and approach, the style and class of the speaker. This is contrary to Adab, to respect. You are seekers and should take the talks about the Beloved. If nothing about the Beloved is discussed, do not bother with it.

Moulana Roomi (rahmatullahi alai) has mentioned an amazing point. It is the doctrine of lovers to accrue every aspect about the beloved. Masha-Allah you are Aashiqs, you are lovers, you are those who subscribe to the doctrine of love and should therefore take whatever of that doctrine from wherever of that doctrine you find. Do not let your gaze go to the one relating it. Do not concern yourselves with whether he is black or white, whether he is handsome or ugly, whether he is appealing or not. What need is there for such matters? All you have to do is take that which pertains to the Beloved.

O beloved brothers! It is with reference to this very theme that Allah Ta`ala has inspired the heart by virtue of being present at your blessed feet. If we look at the era of the Sahaabah we will witness two salient points and remember that the Life of Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) at Medina Tayyibah is a complete lesson for the entire Ummah. It was an amazing age, an age wherein even the women if preoccupied by any concern, were preoccupied by the concern for Islaah, for reformation and Tabligh, the concern for propagation. The men too, if preoccupied by any concern, are preoccupied by this same concern for Islaah and Tabligh. Among the children of the Sahaabah-e-Kiraam too, if there was any concern it was this self same concern for reformation and propagation.

One aspect of organisation by the Sahaabah, in act by the Sahaabiyaat, the women among them comes to mind. They used to constantly send their children to sit in the company of Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam). We know of various Sunnahs but there are some such Sunnahs which do not come to the forefront of our minds or else we are unaware about them. Therefore even this method, this system of the Sahaabah should be remembered and acted upon. I state to you on oath that even if you were to leave behind millions of rands of Halaal wealth for your children, by far better it is that you leave them behind as Deendaar, as acting upon the Deen and as performers of Salaah.. Leaving behind millions is not as beneficial for your children as is their being Deendaar. The question arises, who is termed Deendaar? Only those who perform their Salaah and keep beards do not fit this definition. In fact there are five branches of Deen Aqaaid-beliefs, Ibaadaat-acts of worship, Muaamalaat-contractual dealings with fellow humans, Muaa`shirat-social interaction and Akhlaaqiyaat-character. This last category is further subdivided into two sections one of which needs to be acquired and the other which needs to be eradicated. Thus, Deendaar will be be termed that person who fulfills the Faraaidh and Waajibaat, the compulsory aspects of Aqaaid, who fulfills the Faraadidh and Waajibaat of Ibaadaat, who fulfills the Faraaidh and Waajibaat of Muaamalaat, who fulfills the Faraaidh and Waajibaat of Mu`aashitar as well as one whose character is sound. One has to acquire the degree that a Muslim has to be embellished with reference to each category. Such people are perfect in Deen, are referred to as Muttaqi. These are the people who are referred to as Kaamil-fid-Deen, perfect in Deen by our Akaabireen.

My Hadhrat used to say, "You should have the Talab, the intense longing which results in correct action, which spurs one on to acquire Suhbat. Regarding the availability of Suhbat, of companionship, Allah Ta`ala has taken upon himself the responsibility to provide Saaliheen and Siddiqeen. This responsibility is His." My Hadhrat used to refer to the Saadiqeen as, ‘Raasikh-fid-Deen’ grounded, established firm in Deen while the Muttaqi and the Saalih were referred to as ‘Kaamil-fid-Deen’ perfect in Deen. Those who practice on Deen were referred to by him as Kaamil-fid-Deen. He also used to say that those who are Kaamil-fid-Deen cannot consider themselves to be either apar or independent of those who are Raasikh-fid-Deen. This has been established from the fact that Allah Ta`ala addresses those who believe, those who are with subscription to Taqwa. Allah Ta`ala is in effect saying, "O you who believe, become Muttaqi, become Kaamil, become perfect in your Deen and in order to maintain your perfection in Deen subscribe to the companionship of those who are Raasikh-fid-Deen who are firmly entrenched, who are solidly established on Deen.

As I was saying, there were two aspects which were very clearly found in the lives of the Sahaabah, Islaah and Tableegh, reformation and propagation. There was great concern and organised effort in both these regards. One special feature of this was their organised system of Islaah of their children. We on the other hand are unfortunately heedless in this regard. Innumerable incidents are mentioned in the book, ‘Hayaat us Sahaabah’ pertaining to the children of the Sahaabah which one can refer to. Apart from this there are other books on the subject as well in Arabic. From among these incidents consider the Tarbiyyat, the nurturing of Hasanain, the twin grandsons of Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam). They were three brothers in all, Hadhrat Hasan Hadhrat Hussein and Hadhrat Muhsin (radiallahu anhu) who paased away during his infancy. Hadhrat Faatimah (radiallahu anha) constantly sent these two sons of hers to be in the company of their illustrious grandfather (sallallahi alaihi wasallam).

THE YOUTH OF HADHRAT ANAS (radiallahu anhu)

This reminds me of Umme Anas, the mother of Anas (radiallahu anhu). Allah’s messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) praised Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) and mentioned that the mother of Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) is very intelligent. She has great understanding. Consider the extent of her intellect that Hadhrat Anas Bin Maalik is still only eight years old and how young is not the age of eight. For the sake of serving Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) and for his own nurturing does the mother consign her son to his noble care saying, "O messenger of Allah (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) please accept my Anas in your service."

THE AFFECTION AND MERCY O THE MASTER OF BOTH WORLDS

We too should drive some lessons from these points. Consider the fact that in that age of goodness, in the absence of evil such care and consideration is being given to the nurturing, the reformation and correct upbringing of children. Today we find ourselves in the worst of ages but what, in consideration of that fact do we do for the nurturing, the reformation and correct upbringing of our children? Allah’s beloved (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) was the very embodiment of mercy and immediately acceded to the request of Umme Anas (radiallahu anha) and approved of Anas bin Maalik remaining in his illustrious company and service. This is a monumental point. How many years did he remain in the blessed service of Allah’s beloved (sallallahi alaihi wasallam)? For a period of ten years. Did some untoward, some disliked occurrences not take place within this period of ten years? They most definitely did! Many such actions on the part of Anas bin Maalik did take place. So much so that the Azwaaj-e-Mutahharaat complained on one occasion but the splendid state of Allah’s most beloved (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) was truly amazing. In fact it was beyond our conception. When such complaints used to come to him, he used to say, " Had something else been preordained it would have happened. Do not tell him anything, whatever had to happen has happened."

It was the very inception of his youth. He was but eight years old when numerous such instances occurred. As an example, on one occasion Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) sent Anas bin Maalik on some errand. but after a long while had passed he had still not returned. Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) set out towards the marketplace and found him standing with a few other boys observing some game in progress. He went behind him and placed his blessed hands on the shoulders. From this another point is amply clarified, that it is incorrect to approach someone from behind and place one’s hands over his eyes because it will be the cause of flustering and alarming a person. With great ease he (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) placed his blessed hands over his shoulders from behind. When he turned around to see who it was, he found that Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) was smiling in spite of the fact that the occasion was one wherein one would be upset and angered. In spite of this with a smile adorning his blessed face he said, "You are proceeding to the place I have sent you to." Hadhrat Anas bin Maalik immediately proceeded and completed his allotted task and returned. On mentioning this incident, it appears in the narrations and books of Seerah that on mentioning this incident Hadhrat Anas used to cry on remembering the ultimate level of affection and love he received from the master of both worlds (sallallahi alaihi wasallam).

My beloved ones! Matters can be resolved even today. Rectification can be enacted. Those who are desirous, who are seekers can become connected to Allah Ta`ala by remaining in the company of those who are connected to Allah Ta`ala provided they are treated with affection. It was the period of terminal illness of my Hadhrat wherein I asked him, "Hadhrat how should the Taalibeen, the seekers be treated?" twice did he say ,"With nothing but affection! With nothing but affection!

Another amazing point to bear in mind is that when someone engages in the service of someone, by virtue of such service Allah is attained. Allah is attained and together with this, by the blessing of service, an increase in the lifespan is also granted.

On the demise of Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) the age of Hadrhat Anas bin Maalik was eighteen and when Anas bin Maalik passed away at the ripe old age of a 120 years. For a hundred and two years did he continue fulfilling the responsibility of enjoining what is right , forbidding what is wrong and devoting himself to the rectification of others. All this while he remained occupied in Deeni activities.

SALMAANU MIN AHLAL BAYT

Hadhrat Salmaan Farsi was also one among the Sahaabah. Many points are mentioned in the Hadith with reference to him. That he had seen the penultimate phase of Hadhrat Esa bin Maryam as well as the era of Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam). This too is mentioned in the books of history and there is unanimity pertaining to the fact that he lived to the age of 250. When he presented himself in the service of Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) he was already a 150 and lived therefore, for an additional 100 years. Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) used to approach him in a very pleasant manner. I do not say this categorically, but it appears to me that among those statements it is probably mentioned that his nation will some time or the other come onto guidance. He used to praise his forthrightness and courage.

One statement by Allah’s beloved messenger (sallallahi alaihi wasallam) is truly amazing, wherein he said,

"Salmaan is from the Ahl-e-Bayt."

If one presents oneself at his Masjid in Iraaq, one will find his mausoleum in one corner . Masha-Allah, this narration is etched on every door of the Masjid, "Salmaan is a member of our household, Salmaan is a member of the Ahl-e-Bayt. A member of our household. This is just like our Punjaabis who say, "He is one of us, not some outsider." In the same light Hadhrat Salmaan has been established as a member of the household of Nabuwwat.

My beoved ones! The Sahaabah laid great stress on the nurturing of their children. There are many more incidents verifying this fact. After this follows the incidents pertaining to the Taabi`een, the Tabe Taabi`een followed by the incidents of our Akaabireen. At many locations in the Malfoozaat of Hadhrat Thanwi (rahmatullahi alai) is it found that one should lay great emphasis, great stress on the nurturing of children. During their annual holidays, if possible, if they are up to travelling etc. they should be sent to stay in the Khanqah, the Darut Tazkiyah of some saintly person.

THE NECESSITY FOR DARUT TAZKIYAH IN THE MADAARIS-E-ISLAAMIYAH

The word Darut Tazkiyah has issued from my tongue. In the recent past, by the Taufeeq of Allah and my Hadhrat’s Barakah, I have been favoured with visits to various countries during which visits to various major Darul Ulooms have also been visited in spite of my being unworthy thereof. One point was instilled in my heart which I have put before the Ulema. I say to them brother, you have at your place a Darut Tajweed, a Darul Adab, a Darul Hadith as well as a Darut Tafseer. One more aspect which is substantiated by Nass, by categorical revelation which is not to be found and that is a Darut Tazkiyah. He began saying, "A Shaykh-e-Kaamil is not to be found in every Madrasah." This is the objection that was raised. To this I replied by saying that there is no need for a Shaykh-e-Kaamil at every location. From where will one find so many Mashaaikh? You have within your midst some who are Shaykh ul Hadith, Shaykh ut Tafseer, Shaykh ul Adab if there is a shortage, a scarcity a dearth, it is a paucity of Shaykh ut Tareeq. Alright let us accept your point that you do not have within your midst a Shaykh ut Tareeq but you do establish and have a Darudh Dhiyaafah a residence for guests or don’t you? You can name this same guest quarters Darut Tazkiyah. Gratitude is due to Allah ta`ala that I have seen such a Darut Tazkiyah in Bangladesh. Place some prayer rugs, hang some Tasbeehs therein, place some Quraan Majeeds, some Munaajaat-e-Maqbools, some Malfoozaat and Mawaaiz, some biographies of the Akaabireen-e-Deoband therein. Accommodate your guests therein advisinging them get up for Tahajjud. Show them all the facilities present for Istinja and wudhu(ablutions), show them the direction of Qiblah. This will fulfill the function of a Darut Tazkiyah. They will do something, at least recite Quraan, recite Tasbeeh-e-Faatimah. Therefore convert your Drudh Dhiyaafah into Darut Tazkiyah.

I went to Dhaka in Bangladesh, having been there thrice already. What I am informing you about occurred during the first visit there. The Khalifa of Hadhrat Thanwi (rahmatullahi alai) Moulana Muhammadullah famously known as Hafizjee Huzoor (rahmatullahi alai) called this servant out of affection for there was no other motive in doing so. This was in keeping with the system of our elders who call used to call their juniors and keep them close to themselves. He had in the city a massive Jamia called Jamia Quraaniyah in Shahi Masjid Lal Bagh. For your information I am mentioning the fact that it is the very location where Hadhrat Hakeem ul Ummat Thanwi resided and performed his Salaah while visiting Bangladesh. Hadhrat Madani and most of our other Akaabireen too have been there. The Rmadhaan of Hadhrat Madani in Silhat is very famous. People till today remember and discuss it. In Dhaka there is a locality which used to be called Kamrangi chal but which was remaned Ashrafaabaad in remembrance of Hadhrat Thanwi (rahmatullahi alai). There is a massive Darul Uloom there established by Haafizjee Huzoor (rahmatullahi alai) and is called Madrasah Nooriyah in remembrance of Hadhrat Mianjee Noor Muhammad Janjanwi (rahmatullahi alai). On visiting that Darul Uloom I saw a Darul Tafseer, Hadhith, etc along with which I saw a marble plate with Darut Tazkiyah written on it. I was extremely pleased. It was very well built with five rooms on either side, windows on the outer side for ventilation and doors on the inner side, stairs fro going up to the first floorwhereon there were an additional five rooms. Thus in total there are twenty rooms. Though they are on the small side, two people can, with ease keep their necessities with them and devote themselves to making Allah-Allah. I was extremely pleased and enquired about the arrangements pertaining thereto. As of that time it has firmly settled in my mind that just as we have different Dars in our Madaaris, we should also have a Darut Tazkiyah. Allah Ta`ala grant us the Taufeeq to accomplish this.

As was being discussed, our Buzrugs too devoted great care and attention towards the Tarbiyat of children. I have seen in the case of our Hadhrat that even in the case of very little children, he used to teach them the correct manner of sitting, washing of hands, how to make Wudhu etc. masha-Allah! How many among those very children have grown up to become Saahib-e-Nisbat (one who enjoys a connection with Allah Ta`ala) as well as Saahib-e-Silsila (one who initiates others on the spiritual path). Shukr to Allah! Therefore, our children should be made to stay in the company of the Buzrugs, they should be encouraged to continue visiting then and benefiting from them. The intention when proceeding to their Majaalis should be that which was mentioned at the beginning of this Majlis.

ONE SHOULD STAY WITH THE INTENTION OF ISLAAH IN THE COMPANY OF THE AHL-ALLAH

An individual remained in the company of Hadhrat Moulana Rasheed Ahmed Gangohi (rahmatullahi alai)for a period of ten years. He approached Hadhrat and asked for permission to go. Hadhrat was greatly surprised that an individual who had spent such a long time is wanting to go away. Hadhrat asked him what the matter was. He replied that he had not benefited. Remember that age was unlike that of today. Hadhrat then asked him, "Brother, with what motive are you staying here?" To which he replied, "Hadhrat, my motive in being here is to deliver benefit to people just as you are benefiting people but that objective of mine has not been realised." Hadhrat Moulana Rasheed Ahmed Gangohi Sahib (rahmatullahi alai)was an individual of a very lofty level. He replied, "Brother, your departing is better , now there is no remorse on your departure for you did not come, you did not remain here with the intention reformation, of bettering yourself but have rather come in order to become a leader."

Therefore, O beloved brothers! Such a stance is inappropriate, is not beneficial. One needs to annihilate oneself and proportionate to the extent of annihilation will one attain Insha-Allah. My Hadhrat used to say, -              – Ana refers to the ‘I’, to the ego which needs to be made Fana , which needs to be annihilated. Not until one truly annihilates the ego, the Ana, that which is the desired objective, the reality of Fane will not be attained. The objective Fna is only attained on annihilating the Ana, the ego. Yes! Such annihilation is not annihilation in reality but is rather Baqa, is rather permanence.

As mentioned on one occasion, "If it were to be asked, ‘What has he gained by treading the path, the Tareeq?’ the answer will be, – ‘TO THE EXTENT OF ANNIHILATION IS THE ATTAINMENT’ If there is no annihilation there is no attainment.

"What is annihilation? It is attainment! What is attainment? It is annihilation!

My beloved brothers! Physical ailments, bodily diseases are not as dangerous, as deadly as spiritual diseases. It is but our immaturity, our lack of understanding that in spite of the fact that we are going to die, in spite of the fact that our lives are swiftly passing by, that we are swiftly reaching the final phase when death will claim us, alas, we are not in the slightest moved thereby, we are not perturbed by the fact that we are plagued with cancer within the soul, that spiritual tuberculosis is eating away at our esoteric selves, yet our intellect is still malfunctioning. As far as insight into realities is concerned, we are groping blindly, we are dawdling deafly.

What amazing advice has been issued by my Maseeha who said, "That blind person is not blind in whose hand is holding onto the shirttail of a seeing person. Hold fast to the shirttail of such a person who is endowed with spiritual sight. Let this be one’s concern. Sit in their company with presence of mind, with deep rooted concentration, keep one’s gaze on one’s shortcomings, one’s faults. Realise, "I am of those who will definitely depart from this transient world. My life is fast approaching its finality. This is the ultimate reality.

PREPARATION FOR DEATH

Allahmah Jalal-ud-Deen Suyuti (rahmatullahi alai) has said, "Izraa`eel (alaihis salaam) daily passes the threshold of Insaan’s homes and says, ‘O you who laugh! O you who are falling headlong into heedlessness! Have concern over yourselves! Very shortly will you cross paths with me after which neither youth not strength will remain to serve you at all. All your strength in the face of death will dwindle into insignificance.

In play and games did you while away your childhood.
In irrational intoxication did you while away your youth.
And now you while away your time in this old age.
Understand that you have whiled away your very life.

The poet also says,

Truly well wishing are those who are prepared to banish our heedlessness, those who volunteer to eradicate and annihilate our indifference. We should hold on with unshakable firmness to the shirtails of such Khaasaan-e-Khuda, such special servants of Allah Ta`ala. Recently, during a trip to England did I say, why do you sit with hands intertwined, with hands folded, with hand upon hand for this is symbolic of failure. Give your hand into another’s hand and begin walking. Open both hands, place then into the hands of an accepted servant of Allah after which you will witness the personification of ultimate success.

Success will be attained through effort
and not through eloquent lectures.
It will be attained with vigilent Zikr,
subject to meditation, to pondering deeply.

Hadhrat used to continually say that the vehicle of success has two wheels, Zikr and Fikr. The essentials of success are inherent in Zikr and Fikr. We beseech Allah ta`ala to make us among the Zaakireen as well among those who have Fikr-e-Deen, concern for Deen, Fir-e-Uqbah, concern for the hereafter. We beg Allah Ta`ala to grant us this.

Can this world be considered a place upon which to set one’s heart, to be enamoured of? Repent from this for whoever has set his heart, has been enamoured of this world has been undone, has been ruined. Remember, this is the world we are talking about! It will render useless, everyone that submits to it. The hustle and bustle, the variegated hues and colours of the world incessantly increase. Do not be caught up in this maelstrom otherwise one will inevitably be sucked into non existence before achieving anything worthwhile. Of primary concern should be oneself for this is not the place of abiding. You are well aware of all Sunnahs but why is it that you have forgotten the Sunnah of death? Death too, is Sunnah of Rasool-e-Kareem (sallallahi alaihi wasallam). Was he not given a choice pertaining to the matter of death? He definitely was but did not opt to remain alive. He preferred to depart from this earthly abode. He departed during the age of strength and vitality for what was sixty three during that era? It was nothing at all. An individual of sixty-seventy was still in his prime. Over and above this Allah Ta`ala had granted him the physical strength possessed by sixteen thousand men of this world. Greatly amazing were the miracles granted too him. Amazing is every aspect pertaining to him but truly astounding is the fact that he, by bearing the Ummah in mind, preferred to depart from this abode.

Remember! For the sake of Allah, whenever death approaches by the command of Allah is also a Sunnah. One should therefore also bear in mind this Sunnah and prepare for it. Death is a Sunnah, it is a meritorious entity. This is why it has been referred to as a present, a gift,

"Death is a gift to a Mu`min."

Death is a virtuous entity. It is clearly defined as a truly meritorious gift.

Remember! What is the sigh, the indication of one’s Uns, one’s intense attachment and love for Allah Ta`ala? The salient feature that heralds one’s close attachment to Allah Ta`ala is the hearts disinclination from all aspects of the world. That our hearts not be intertwined, not be entangled, not be caught up with an entity belonging to the perishable world. This is the sign whereby Uns with Allah is determined. Our very natures, our souls should be attached to Allah Ta`ala, should be intensely longing for Him. We beseech Allah Ta`ala to grant us Maqam-e-Uns, the station of such longing and attachment to Him. We must therefore, make appropriate preparations for our onward journey. We should not waste away our time, our days, our lives in useless activities, in heedlessness. Heedlessness is the antithesis of Zikr, of remembrance. When one is heedless, one is not a Zaakir. Remain a Zaakir. We beseech Allah Ta`ala to keep us as among, to let us be, Zaakireen have the concern for the nurturing and reformation of one’s children. Continue taking them to the Majaalis and of the Ahl-Allah and the centres of learning of the Ulema provided they are able to travel and that you too are in a position to travel. Send them for an annual period of forty days to the Khanqah of some Allah wala, some saint. Insha-Allah! The tables will be turned. You will, even after reaching the grave, issue me with Duas considering the advice this wanderer has given to you.

There is great need to devote special attention to the nurturing of children. How will the nurturing of children take place? By establishing friendship! Establish friendship with one’s children. You are in search of friends? What need is there for this! If Allah ta`ala has granted you four sons, realise that your sons are your friends. Establish friendship with your children. Harshness and severity will not work. Keep your relationship with the wife a pleasant and wholesome one. Remember that the better the relationship between husband and wife the better the effect upon the children, the loftier the results with reference to the nurturing of one’s children. If one has the experience, by analysing children, one will be able to determine the relationship between husband and wife.

If one has opportunity to spends time with one’s family occupied in permissible activities one should do so. Such permissible activities will be the precursors, the means to Ibaadah, to worship. Such permissible activities become a fortress against forbidden acts, against the disobedience to Allah Ta`ala. Occasionally go on an outing with one’s family. Go to some appropriate location together while at other times be together at home. On a weekend get involved in cooking and preparing, pack a picnic basket and go out. My paternal grandfather, Allah grant him Maghfirat, used to take me at a very early age to the Majaalis of the Mashaaikh. This was during the period of British rule. In fact I was so young that I used to be in his lap in the Majaalis of the Mashaaikh. Shukr, gratitude is due to Alaah Ta`ala that those Majaalis are imprinted on the mind . The hearts of children are like blank sheets of white paper. Whatever is written thereon will indelibly remain imprinted thereon.

My Hadhrat (rahmatullahi alai) used to say, "Consider sleeping children to be awake. If one wants to discuss something, go elsewhere and do so. Do not do so in the presence of sleeping children. Consider sleeping children to be awake. It should not be that some statement or action of yours becomes imprinted on that white paper.

My beloved brothers! These are a few offerings by this helpless traveller. The gist of the matter, the essence of advice is that one should be fully involved in the nurturing and upbringing of one’s children. Then and then only will one procure peace and serenity in the true sense of the word. Otherwise, if these very children become a means of one being tested, if they become the currency of tribulation your lives will become wretched. We beseech Allah Ta`ala to grant us correct understanding and insight, to grant us Taufeeq, the ability and ease to enact the correct upbringing and nurturing of our children.